Reflections

You know that moment when you are right on the verge of crying... but the tears haven't started yet you can just feel them sitting there waiting for one little thing to push them out...

That's where I've been sitting emotionally for the last several hours. I went to what was probably my last show at Eddie's for a good long time. Trina, Tomi and Dione Farris. Trina and Tomi rocked it and that was great kept me from getting weepy. But Dione, god love her is just so mellow and smooth I could feel myself slipping into melancholy. So after a talk with Trina I said goodbye to everyone and headed to catch MARTA home.
Now I'm here and it's like I want to let it out... but at the same time I'm like no crying till the contacts are out and I'm safely in my bed... but I really don't want to cry. I want to be able to be happy about all of the experiences I've had there. It was hard to have Amy and Beth both say things about shows coming up and how weird it will be for me not to be there.
It's not just saying goodbye to Shalom, Tommy, John, and Smack. It's saying that an era of my life that started there is over. There are so many wonderful experiences and people who have come into my life from things that have started there. Almost all of my tight friendships here in ATL I can link back to a show at Eddie's.
Tonight I was privileged to get a farewell from Caroline Aiken... it really boggles my mind that I could go back to even NMH and things that I experienced there lead to Eddie's and have ties. I'm not sure how to explain it... but I have to say that going to Eddie's is like going to church. There are days when you go and you have a deeply spiritual moment where something between the music, people and energy in the place combine and it's just right. There are also days when you go and it's only ok. I know there were nights I'd walk up the stairs looking at the posters and think about who i knew, what shows I needed to be at... Others where you could just feel the presence of something more once you opened the door and looked up.
There were nights where it was like a loud gospel revival where people were up dancing and just having fun. There were nights where it was a quiet meditation and you could find a bit of peace. I know some days the prospect of seeing someone play at Eddie's was what kept me going through the day at school. I might be dead on my feet but I'd still make it there, have a drink and then go listen to someone preform and I would be energized when I left.
I don't even know if I could list all the people I've seen play there. But everyone of them has left a memory and has touched me on some level.