more cat pictures
Monday, July 28, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
From my Farewell to the Panthers
This is from what I said to the Panthers tonight as I said officially goodbye and thank you to them for the last couple of years.
I just wanted to take a minute to thank all of you for your friendship and support over the last year and a half. You have all in some way helped me in my journey in leather. I know that the foundations and roots that you have helped me to form with the leather community will serve me well where ever my journey takes me.
I’m taking many happy memories with me. From watching and helping with Swine to Swan and Prowl shows, to just random moments at bar nights where I was educated about everything from lube to cock rings. There were also moments where I was down and felt supported by many of the members. One example is from Track this year where I was dealing with the lack of knowledge as to what was happening to my school after the tornado and the out pouring of support and comfort given to me not only by members of the Panthers but also other clubs helped me to not worry so much about it but enjoy the run.
I don’t know how long I’m going to be gone, but I do want you to know that you will be with me no matter where my journey takes me. Thank you.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Like jumping out of a perfectly good plane
I had someone questioning my sanity the other day. Actually they called me crazy... not like a bad thing, just not what is expected. I'm good with that. I know I've never really followed the "normal" path. I found while I was packing one of my recommendation letters for college. It talked about how I marched to the beat of my own drummer and found ways to do things I wanted to with in the system when they weren't there (gospel choir, independent studies, etc). I know I frustrate administrators by finding loopholes so that I can do things with students that might not be conventional but they have lasting and important impacts.
This whole taking off for a new country has felt like I'm getting ready to jump out of a perfectly good plane. I was set here in Atlanta. I had a contract, tenure, a good school, good friends, family, nice place to live. All the basics were covered. But now here I am sitting here a week before leaving Atlanta, hoping contracts get places quickly so I can do all my paperwork in the next week.
I've jumped from the plane... actually I jumped in April when I turned down the contract. I've been hanging in free fall since then. It's like I've got a chute on my back but who knows if there really is a properly packed chute in there. Now with word that my contract is being written it's like the first little chute has popped. I know there is a big parachute in there now, it's just a question as to how much more of a free fall am I going to take before it fully catches me.
This has been a leap of faith. I've had to trust that I needed to do this and that it's where I'm supposed to be. Now that I'm actually in it I'm trying to look around and enjoy the feeling of being here. It's a rush... similar to any number of them that I've experienced. I love it... the adrenaline rush, Just having one last for months is a bit much at times. I'm looking for a break, just a small piece of quiet to reflect and be at peace with myself.
This week is going to be insane, no peace for me. Today I've got errands to run all over the city to make sure I have storage and everything set, then the Panthers meeting tonight. Tomorrow, I'll be sitting and waiting for the Salvation Army to come and pick up things. Wednesday is my last haircut with Phil who I'm truly going to miss... he just knows how to make my hair look good and behave. I've also got a date and I'm going to see Three5Human one more time. Thursday has nothing officially on it yet. Friday my Smartbox should show up. Saturday is load it up with everything. Sunday is my Farewell Party. Monday last touches on the apartment to make sure things are done and Lindsey and EKB at Smith's then Tuesday morning early I'll head out for Augusta and a little down time before I head off to Korea at the end of August.
Hopefully at some point in this I will sleep.
This whole taking off for a new country has felt like I'm getting ready to jump out of a perfectly good plane. I was set here in Atlanta. I had a contract, tenure, a good school, good friends, family, nice place to live. All the basics were covered. But now here I am sitting here a week before leaving Atlanta, hoping contracts get places quickly so I can do all my paperwork in the next week.
I've jumped from the plane... actually I jumped in April when I turned down the contract. I've been hanging in free fall since then. It's like I've got a chute on my back but who knows if there really is a properly packed chute in there. Now with word that my contract is being written it's like the first little chute has popped. I know there is a big parachute in there now, it's just a question as to how much more of a free fall am I going to take before it fully catches me.
This has been a leap of faith. I've had to trust that I needed to do this and that it's where I'm supposed to be. Now that I'm actually in it I'm trying to look around and enjoy the feeling of being here. It's a rush... similar to any number of them that I've experienced. I love it... the adrenaline rush, Just having one last for months is a bit much at times. I'm looking for a break, just a small piece of quiet to reflect and be at peace with myself.
This week is going to be insane, no peace for me. Today I've got errands to run all over the city to make sure I have storage and everything set, then the Panthers meeting tonight. Tomorrow, I'll be sitting and waiting for the Salvation Army to come and pick up things. Wednesday is my last haircut with Phil who I'm truly going to miss... he just knows how to make my hair look good and behave. I've also got a date and I'm going to see Three5Human one more time. Thursday has nothing officially on it yet. Friday my Smartbox should show up. Saturday is load it up with everything. Sunday is my Farewell Party. Monday last touches on the apartment to make sure things are done and Lindsey and EKB at Smith's then Tuesday morning early I'll head out for Augusta and a little down time before I head off to Korea at the end of August.
Hopefully at some point in this I will sleep.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
WOO HOOO
Got an email today that everything is good and I should be getting a contract from Daegu soon. That means everything is no longer up in the air. It's about time since a week from today I've got people coming to help me load all of my stuff into a storage pod. Then my farewell party is next Sunday.
I will write more when I know exact date for departure amongst other things.
I will write more when I know exact date for departure amongst other things.
Friday, July 18, 2008
More Purgatory
Had an interview with the Daegu School System today. I think it went fine... but I won't know for sure till Tuesday.
I'm hanging in, I've got a weekend of fun planned with Danielle.
I've been trying to keep things positive I'll try to do a few posts in the next couple of days about what's going on and let everyone know when I have things set.
I'm hanging in, I've got a weekend of fun planned with Danielle.
I've been trying to keep things positive I'll try to do a few posts in the next couple of days about what's going on and let everyone know when I have things set.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Reflections
You know that moment when you are right on the verge of crying... but the tears haven't started yet you can just feel them sitting there waiting for one little thing to push them out...
That's where I've been sitting emotionally for the last several hours. I went to what was probably my last show at Eddie's for a good long time. Trina, Tomi and Dione Farris. Trina and Tomi rocked it and that was great kept me from getting weepy. But Dione, god love her is just so mellow and smooth I could feel myself slipping into melancholy. So after a talk with Trina I said goodbye to everyone and headed to catch MARTA home.
Now I'm here and it's like I want to let it out... but at the same time I'm like no crying till the contacts are out and I'm safely in my bed... but I really don't want to cry. I want to be able to be happy about all of the experiences I've had there. It was hard to have Amy and Beth both say things about shows coming up and how weird it will be for me not to be there.
It's not just saying goodbye to Shalom, Tommy, John, and Smack. It's saying that an era of my life that started there is over. There are so many wonderful experiences and people who have come into my life from things that have started there. Almost all of my tight friendships here in ATL I can link back to a show at Eddie's.
Tonight I was privileged to get a farewell from Caroline Aiken... it really boggles my mind that I could go back to even NMH and things that I experienced there lead to Eddie's and have ties. I'm not sure how to explain it... but I have to say that going to Eddie's is like going to church. There are days when you go and you have a deeply spiritual moment where something between the music, people and energy in the place combine and it's just right. There are also days when you go and it's only ok. I know there were nights I'd walk up the stairs looking at the posters and think about who i knew, what shows I needed to be at... Others where you could just feel the presence of something more once you opened the door and looked up.
There were nights where it was like a loud gospel revival where people were up dancing and just having fun. There were nights where it was a quiet meditation and you could find a bit of peace. I know some days the prospect of seeing someone play at Eddie's was what kept me going through the day at school. I might be dead on my feet but I'd still make it there, have a drink and then go listen to someone preform and I would be energized when I left.
I don't even know if I could list all the people I've seen play there. But everyone of them has left a memory and has touched me on some level.
That's where I've been sitting emotionally for the last several hours. I went to what was probably my last show at Eddie's for a good long time. Trina, Tomi and Dione Farris. Trina and Tomi rocked it and that was great kept me from getting weepy. But Dione, god love her is just so mellow and smooth I could feel myself slipping into melancholy. So after a talk with Trina I said goodbye to everyone and headed to catch MARTA home.
Now I'm here and it's like I want to let it out... but at the same time I'm like no crying till the contacts are out and I'm safely in my bed... but I really don't want to cry. I want to be able to be happy about all of the experiences I've had there. It was hard to have Amy and Beth both say things about shows coming up and how weird it will be for me not to be there.
It's not just saying goodbye to Shalom, Tommy, John, and Smack. It's saying that an era of my life that started there is over. There are so many wonderful experiences and people who have come into my life from things that have started there. Almost all of my tight friendships here in ATL I can link back to a show at Eddie's.
Tonight I was privileged to get a farewell from Caroline Aiken... it really boggles my mind that I could go back to even NMH and things that I experienced there lead to Eddie's and have ties. I'm not sure how to explain it... but I have to say that going to Eddie's is like going to church. There are days when you go and you have a deeply spiritual moment where something between the music, people and energy in the place combine and it's just right. There are also days when you go and it's only ok. I know there were nights I'd walk up the stairs looking at the posters and think about who i knew, what shows I needed to be at... Others where you could just feel the presence of something more once you opened the door and looked up.
There were nights where it was like a loud gospel revival where people were up dancing and just having fun. There were nights where it was a quiet meditation and you could find a bit of peace. I know some days the prospect of seeing someone play at Eddie's was what kept me going through the day at school. I might be dead on my feet but I'd still make it there, have a drink and then go listen to someone preform and I would be energized when I left.
I don't even know if I could list all the people I've seen play there. But everyone of them has left a memory and has touched me on some level.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
