Soul Mates

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet because they tear down your walls and smack you awake."--- Eat Pray Love


I've been lucky in my life I've met and fallen in love with two soul mates in my life. One taught me about honor and being a better person. The second helped me to be true to myself. She still does. I got to spend the day with her today. I'm glad that we're still close even though I live on the other side of the world. Considering all that we've been though we should probably not be still talking to each other. I should hate her and walk away. However, I have never been able to truly walk away from her and not be there for her when she comes to me honestly and just needs a friend.
It's funny she was all busy hugging me and telling me to be safe this year and take care of myself in the big bad world I was heading out into. I had to turn it around on her, this year she's embarking on something much more dangerous. She's got to for the first time in her life at 38 actually figure out what makes her happy. She is free of everything that she used to use as excuses to go and figure out what would truly make her happy and go for it. I think that's alot more scary than me heading off to do the same thing I have for the last two years.

I'm sure that once she gets out of her own way and actually lets herself dream BIG and unfettered she will find her happiness. All I can ever hope and wish for her is that she can figure out what makes her happy. I think that's a mark of a deeper love. She and I have long ago moved past "romantic" love and we now are at a point where all we want in the world is for the other person to be happy. We know that we aren't going to be the one to do that for each other at this point but we are going to be standing on the side lines cheering the other one on.

As for the reflecting part... well seeing as how I can read her like a book, and call her out on things she would try to hide, I do certainly make her think about things she would like to escape from. There is a trick to my mirror though. I try to temper it with love and kindness. It's one thing to call someone out on their nervousness at seeing your parents again. It would be a whole different thing for me to read her and call her out on her bigger issues.

It's funny that 8 years in we still match. When we hug there is still a moment of peace for both of us. There is something there that says this is right. But it's not the same fire passion that almost consumed me years ago. It's not a warm hearth that makes me want to curl up and sleep near it. It's safer.

The end result is the same as it's been for a few years. I love her, but I am no longer in love with her. I only want the best and for her to take every chance at happiness she's given. I guess that's how it should be with soul mates post earth shattering shake ups and walls being torn down. Best part about all of this....



... I know she feels the same.